September 2019

“There was no turning back. There was only surrender.” GABRIELLE ROTH


One of the crucial things that I have been learning by practicing the 5 Rhythms is how to live with changes. Changes in the body, emotional changes, changing directions, changing roles, changing seasons…
I still remember, after having taught the Rhythms as such for some time, how I shifted my focus to teaching about transitions from one rhythm to the next. I remember, after many years of dancing, the moment when I realised in my gut, not in my head, that the whole Wave was actually teaching me about change. Every living thing, everything that breathes has movement, and as long as it is moving, it is changing. I also realised that it took a lot of my life energy to stop the natural energy flow, to bottle up my emotions as they were rising and falling and how much I struggled to stop my own thoughts about how I think too much.
Thanks to Flowing I discovered where my trust lives inside of me, the trust to really let my energy flow naturally, organically. I learned to trust that if I am patient enough and listen to my deep instincts long enough, there will come a time when my words will want to be shaped, my direction and intention will show up and my heart will be ready to act.
Thanks to Staccato I discovered what lay beneath the superficial order and hierarchy, what vibrated behind all my attempts to be perfect and always do the things that were useful in life. I found a strong and vulnerable heart, a constant inner beat that never gives up on me, a song that sings both in low tones of sadness and high tones of exhilaration. I touched the truth, which had been beating in my chest all the time, and which I had hidden first and foremost from myself, that I wished to love and be loved and that I knew how to love and be loved. I could see that it was my power, my (birth)right, my freedom.
Thanks to Chaos I explored the vast wilderness of my own mind, I danced with all my body parts to the cacophony of absurd and crazy thoughts until my head felt at least a little emptier. And in that emptiness, my mind could become a student. In that emptiness I began to get a glimpse of a higher intelligence that was guiding me and to which I could surrender more and more. I began to listen to the wisdom of my errors, the pain of my wounds and breaks, the sadness of my losses and I learned that right now was the best moment to feel both my feet on the ground, one hand on my belly and the other on my heart and follow my breathing.
Thanks to Lyrical I was surprised to see that I could be easy when things are difficult; I could be open when the door is closed; I could be present when others were absent; I could be interested in boredom and fascinated by apathy. I could be playful in this game called life. I was fascinated to see how something as light as the soul (21 grams?!) could fill my life so much. And how things do not need to be perfect in order for me to feel good.
Thanks to Stillness my unheard cry for meaning was heard in the silence.. My inner hamsters’ paws could take a rest from running on the wheel of life. My own breath became my inspiration. The mystery of death brought the numb survivor to life. All that was separated became one. I danced all the way to the end.

With love, Silvija