I wouldn’t say my parents were creative, but they would hang out with many creative people. At the time when my mother was studying piano at the Music Academy in Zagreb, the musicians and composers were hanging out with actors and directors who were hanging out with painters and photographers who were hanging out with writers and poets. From an early age I could sense the difference between creative people and those who chose a safer life. My mum loved discovering and supporting talents as a piano teacher, and it was hard for me to suck at playing the piano. I was more into drawing and painting and she was very encouraging of me. My parents even organised an exhibition at our home where we put my paintings up for sale. Unforgettable. For a kid to see adults buying her art. Then I started to go to school and the art teacher told me that the grass can not be purple. And I stopped. I still paint like that little child, my drawings never “grew up”.
Both of my parents loved music, and I have learnt that classical music is what Latin is for languages. It opens and educates the ear and the part of the brain that can see the movement and colours of music. This musical upbringing saved me when I started teaching 5Rhythms and awakening the sacred DJ in me. There is no genre of music that I would not be ready to play and use to create a specific movement.
Music went straight to my innocent heart and it has always been a loyal companion. There was a song for when I fell in love and there was a song for when my heart was broken. There was a song somehow for every feeling I had.
When I would watch dancers dancing and ice skaters skate, I was moved to tears. They looked like magic, they moved like both – so physical and so divine.
And I tried. I tried ballet, I tried African dance, I tried contemporary dance, and I struggled, following the steps. I believed I had no discipline. I felt totally opposite from how I would feel when dancing at home alone or dancing in the club as soon as it opened when the dance floor was still empty.
Then I found 5Rhythms, or 5Rhythms found me!
I found a place where I finally felt creative. I was creating the dance I was dancing. Or as Gabrielle would say “co-creating with the great mystery”. I felt talented even though I didn’t need to be at all. I felt unique in the midst of equally unique and different people. Suddenly I even had the discipline!
I remember in school the teachers would say about me “she is smart but lazy”. Now I was happy and free. I started to heal the wounds I wasn’t even aware of. I met people I would have been either scared to meet or people I would think with whom I would have nothing in common. I travelled not just too many cities and countries of this world, but also many mountains and valleys of my psyche.
I learnt and I practised to be creative with the way I move. Creative with the way I speak and write. Creative with my pain. Creative with my boredom. Creative with my shadow. Creative with the way I relate through my heart. Creative with my attention and my presence. Creative with my life.
It is such a gift and honour to hold space for others to join me in this and to support this creativity we have as humans. I want to shout a big THANK YOU, to all dancers who have been dancing with me online once, twice or even every week, for these last 12 months. YOU blew my mind, recharged my heart, gave me a reason to change at least the top of my pyjama for a class, inspired me to learn new ways of teaching, restored my discipline and infused me with hope.